Packaged and labelled correctly is what you should be. Large print, embossed, engraved with indelible warnings of impending plummets to the ground after tripping over that carefully placed foot in my way, smashing my all together, well guarded face and already cracked and fractured heart to pieces (to be fair, you kindly mended that heart, put it back together, placed a tender kiss upon it and held it to keep it warm in your hands but STILL. A warning would have been nice. A heads up, you know.)
Duly appraised and approved by the authorities for the legal consumption of addictive drugs, such as you are. A mind addling, perception altering, paradigm shifting, soul changing and heart aching drug that I can never release from my system now.
A small alert maybe. Anything. A hint that I would suffer terrible, trembling, debilitating side effects and withdrawl every time I am a little (yes even a LITTLE) bit starved of you and your affections and attentions and blinding, heart stopping love.
You did this to me.
Health warnings and hazards clearly marked on your skin in tattoos inked by the hands of previous lovers you should have.
But what did they know anyway.
They would have probably inked those tats with lies and manipulations, I’d guess. Still though.
You did this to me
A little caution perhaps, you could have whispered when we were teasing each others hearts, that your charm and magnetism was hazardous to my health. A signal maybe that you were about to take a sharp right turn and pull me with you, whiplashing my sense and logic into oblivion. So rude, honestly.
Callously dragging me into the undertow of your ocean of pure love and unselfish gestures of beauty and verse.
You can’t just DO that to people.
You can’t just musically lull me into an amorous stupor of inebriated sips of some kind of beautiful that I wasn’t expecting and keep me there in your embrace all warm and safe and filled, CONSUMED with desire and longing and expect me to keep my mouth shut and not scold you for being in love with me!
How dare you, sir.
How very, very dare you.
At least tell me, give me an inkling that every song I hear will now remind me of you, every mundane task will remind me of you, every breath will be a step closer to being with you, every past love will seem pale and weak compared to the glaring colours and blaring sounds of this love that you’re laying upon me with such…delicious force and pounding, pounding, pounding, aching, mouth shutting, hair grabbing, wall slamming, sweet, soft, tongue tasting want…see? See what you do? Getting me all x-rated and forbidden.
You did this to me.
A little extra information and forewarning would have been polite, you know. Just a small pamphlet outlining the dangers of partaking in this fateful entanglement with you. A little, “Hey, just thought I’d let you know that you and I are about to fall deeply into SOMETHING (yeah, you know what I mean) and there’s no way out of this, and you won’t even want to find a way out but still…you’ll be trapped in my heart forever. Please just scratch your initial here, here, here and especially THERE so I know you’ll be written on my poetic heart pages forever. “
Something like that.
That wouldn’t have been too hard.
Left me powerless against you.
You pulled me in from my waist, your hands settling perfectly into my curves, my body resting breathlessly against yours, your lips touching mine, your eyes boring deeply into my once tarnished soul and seeing the beauty there that I try so diligently to conceal, your words in my ear like the most powerful opiate, forcing my eyes to close against their will, as you whisper the darkest, most delectable, secret, enamoured desires we share causing ripples of moist, wet, warm, oozing lust – laced love to pour from me as you breathe senseless, insane concepts like forever and always at my delicate ferocity and passion which has no choice, NO CHOICE but to surrender to you as you take me so hard and urgently the way I was meant to be taken and meant to be loved.
You. Did. This. To. Me.
And that’s it.
There was no warning.
I fought it…
I really did.
Far too late now.
Look at me.
Hopeless and exploding with verse after verse after verse after verse of heartbeats for you. They won’t stop. They never leave me alone…torturing me with words that aren’t enough, with imagery that’s poor, with metaphors that don’t do justice, with rhymes that inexorably always lead to me and you and screaming, raw passionate poetry that only finds its place when it does as it pleases. You know what it wants.
I sigh as I write.
I ache as I pen this.
I burn with need when you say my name.
I reach across impossibility to touch you
I hurt as I love you.
A warning. A warning would have been nice.
Who am I kidding.
I want this to hurt. Hurt me and then love it all better.
You did this to me.
Because I wanted you to.